The Science Behind Why Socializing Drains Introverts

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Excerpt:

Extroverts Have a More Active Dopamine System

“So, what does this have to do with socializing?

Because extroverts have a more active dopamine system, they get more excited by the possibility of reward. Dopamine energizes them to strike up a conversation with a stranger or stay at the bar until last call. Even though these activities can be tiring, dopamine reduces the cost of effort, much like getting a shot of espresso before running a race.

Dopamine even explains why extroverts might talk louder, faster, and with more confidence. These behaviors draw more attention to themselves and increase their chances of gaining social rewards.

Introverts have dopamine, too, but our dopamine system isn’t as “turned up” as that of an extrovert. We’re simply not as driven to pursue the same rewards that extroverts chase.

Having a less active dopamine system also means that introverts may find certain levels of stimulation — like loud noise and lots of activity — to be overwhelming, annoying, and exhausting. This explains why the introvert in the bar scenario was ready to leave after a while.

The Introvert’s Superpower

Introverts don’t seek rewards to the same degree that extroverts do. Is this a bad thing? In my opinion, no. It’s actually the introvert’s superpower.

We all know that one friend who partied too hard and paid the price, or the workaholic who compromised her health and relationships. These are people who chased rewards — hard.

Instead of seeking external validation, introverts tend to turn inward. They might research topics simply for the joy of learning something new. In their careers, they seek a calling that’s more than just a paycheck. They desire depth and intimacy in their relationships — a connection that is mind-to-mind and heart-to-heart — rather than an abundance of casual acquaintances.

I’m not suggesting that all extroverts are shallow and all introverts are deep. That’s simply not true. Sometimes extroverts pursue quiet, intrinsically rewarding activities; sometimes introverts seek status and other external rewards. A healthy, successful life for anyone should include a mix of both.

When writing my book, I asked introverts to share what motivates and energizes them. They all mentioned low-key activities, like a solo shopping trip, a meaningful conversation with a friend, finishing a good book, or expressing themselves through art. If it weren’t for the introvert’s less active dopamine system, they might not engage in these activities as much. The introvert’s way isn’t about chasing rewards but rather about seeking meaning. 

Relevance:

In this excerpt, I learn about the differences in dopamine system activity between extroverts and introverts and how it impacts their social behavior. Extroverts tend to be more active because they have a more responsive dopamine system, which makes them more motivated by the potential for social rewards, such as leading conversations. Dopamine can energize them and reduce the effort required for socializing. In comparison, introverts have a less active dopamine system, which makes them less driven to seek external rewards. However, introverts are more focused on deeper, meaningful activities. Overall, learning about why introverts and extroverts react differently to social environments helps me understand their needs and strengths. This makes me think that if I’m designing a medical device for these groups, I should consider a “low-key” design for introverts, while extroverts might prefer more interactive features. The author also points out that not all extroverts are shallow, and not all introverts are deep. So, as a designer, I think it’s important to include adaptive social features. By designing inclusively, we can make sure no one feels left out and that everyone’s needs are met, so they can benefit from the device.

Reference:

Granneman, J. (2023, August 8). Why socializing drains introverts and how to replenish your energy. Introvert, Dear. https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-socializing-draining/