Now is an important time for kids to learn about things like healthy friendships, respect for boundaries, and how to talk about their feelings. <\/strong>Elementary school kids are capable of imagining what it\u2019s like to walk in another person\u2019s shoes (AKA empathy) \u2014 but they need to be guided. This is a common time for trying out different friend groups and learning how to maintain good relationships with their peers. You can help your kid grow up to be a respectful and confident person who has healthy, satisfying friendships and relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider what friendship means to you and what values you want to pass on to your kid. <\/strong>What kind of friend do you want your kid to be \u2014 and what kind of partner do you want them to be when they\u2019re old enough for romantic relationships? What does a healthy relationship (of any kind) mean to you? Name some of the things that you look for in relationships of all kinds \u2014 like loyalty, kindness, shared interests, supporting each other through tough times, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being a good role model with your significant other, family members, and friends can make a big difference. <\/strong>Your attitude and actions toward family, friends, neighbors, and strangers is a big influence. Model your values. Dealing with bumps in relationships with others can also be a teachable moment to talk about with your kid. If they see you have a disagreement, you can help them learn from it by talking through what\u2019s going on with them. Ask them how they would deal with problems, disagreements, or hurt feelings in their relationships with friends\/family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning how to have healthy friendships early in life can set your kid up to have some of the most meaningful and rewarding experiences life has to offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Talk with your kid about what it means to be a good friend. Talk about how you support your friends, and how you know you can trust your friends. Be a good role model by being the best kind of friend you know how to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask questions and stay involved in your kid\u2019s social life. That doesn\u2019t mean never giving your kid the space to hang out with friends without you in the room. But it does mean asking them questions like, \u201cDid you have fun with ___?\u201d or \u201cWhat makes them your friend?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Staying involved also means getting to know your kid\u2019s friends and friends\u2019 parents so you know what kinds of influences your kid is getting. It also helps you be sure they\u2019re safe when your kid is in their company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let your kid know that they can always talk to you about their friends and come to you with any problems. Give them advice about being a good friend, recognizing when someone isn\u2019t being a good friend to them, and how to communicate their feelings. Make sure they know that friends are supposed to be kind, make us feel good about ourselves, and don\u2019t pressure us to do stuff we don\u2019t want to do. They respect us and we respect them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the flip side, not every conflict means a call to your kid\u2019s friend\u2019s parent. Helping your kid solve their own problems is good for their self-esteem and builds stronger social skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many parents think consent<\/a> is a conversation that revolves around sex and that you don\u2019t need to talk about it while your kid is in elementary school. But in reality, building empathy and respecting boundaries are the building blocks for understanding and practicing consent later in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Building empathy at this age is about understanding that other people have their own feelings, and get to make their own decisions. You can help build empathy in your kid by making sure they ask for permission to take or use something, and understanding the impact their actions can have. So taking a toy from another kid without asking can hurt them. Their actions can affect other people, so it\u2019s important to think about how other people feel when they say or do something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to respect boundaries at this age means understanding that when someone says \u201cno\u201d to something, it means no, and your kid needs to listen and stop. That can play out in any number of scenarios \u2014 their brother doesn\u2019t want to play the same game as them, their friend doesn\u2019t want to share their toy with them, or someone on the playground doesn\u2019t like when other people touch their hair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Make sure you have rules about what \u201cno\u201d means. You can say things like, \u201cYou should never touch someone if they tell you not to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Make sure your kid knows it goes both ways. When your kid says no, they deserve their answer to be heard and respected as well. If your kid feels uncomfortable kissing or hugging someone, they shouldn\u2019t have to. If they have a friend or family member who repeatedly doesn\u2019t listen to them when they say \u201cno,\u201d they should come to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your family members are upset that your kid won\u2019t hug them, take your kid\u2019s side. You can say things like, \u201cWe\u2019re doing high fives today!\u201d Try to pull the adult aside later and explain what your mission is here \u2014 to get your kid to speak out about their boundaries and to feel respected when they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s important for your kid\u2019s self-confidence and bodily autonomy, but it\u2019s also extremely important for their safety. Knowing they can come to you to keep them safe \u2014 and that you\u2019ll never be mad at them for telling you they feel unsafe or uncomfortable \u2014 can protect your kid from being abused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tell them very clearly, \u201cIf anyone ever touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, or touches your penis or vulva, tell me or another adult you trust.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow do I talk about healthy friendships?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
How do I talk about respecting boundaries and consent with my child?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n