By: Grace Tatter<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Publisher: Usable Knowledge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Date: November 28, 2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Historically, the measure of a good sex education program has been in the numbers: marked decreases in the rates of sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancies, and pregnancy-related drop-outs. But, increasingly, researchers, educators, and advocates are emphasizing that sex ed should focus on more than physical health. Sex education, they say, should also be about relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Giving students a foundation in relationship-building and centering the notion of care for others can enhance wellbeing and pave the way for healthy intimacy in the future, experts say. It can prevent or counter gender stereotyping and bias. And it could minimize instances of sexual harassment and assault in middle and high school \u2014 instances that may range from cyberbullying and stalking to unwanted touching and nonconsensual sex. A recent study<\/a> from Columbia University’s Sexual Health Initative to Foster Transformation (SHIFT) project suggests that comprehensive sex education protects students from sexual assault even after high school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If students become more well-practiced in thinking about caring for one another, they\u2019ll be less likely to commit \u2014 and be less vulnerable to \u2014 sexual violence, according to this new approach to sex ed. And they\u2019ll be better prepared to engage in and support one another in relationships, romantic and otherwise, going forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Giving students a foundation in relationship-building can enhance wellbeing and pave the way for healthy intimacy in the future, experts say. It can also prevent or counter gender stereotyping, and it could minimize instances of sexual harassment and assault in middle and high school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Diving into a conversation even tangentially related to sex with a group of 20 or so high school students isn\u2019t easy. Renee Randazzo helped researcher Sharon Lamb<\/a> pilot the Sexual Ethics and Caring Curriculum<\/a> while a graduate student at the University of Massachusetts Boston. She recalls boys snickering during discussions about pornography and objectification. At first, it was hard for students to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the idea behind the curriculum is that tough conversations are worth having. Simply teaching students how to ask for consent isn\u2019t enough, says Lamb, a professor of counseling psychology at UMass Boston, who has been researching the intersection between caring relationships, sex, and education for decades. Students also to have understand why consent is important and think about consent in a variety of contexts. At the heart of that understanding are questions about human morality, how we relate to one another, and what we owe to one another. In other words, ethics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen I looked at what sex ed was doing, it wasn\u2019t only a problem that kids weren\u2019t getting the right facts,\u201d Lamb says. \u201cIt was a problem that they weren\u2019t getting the sex education that would make them treat others in a caring and just way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She became aware that when schools were talking about consent \u2014 if they were at all \u2014 it was in terms of self-protection. The message was: Get consent so you don\u2019t get in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But there\u2019s more at play, Lamb insists. Students should also understand the concept of mutuality \u2014 making decisions with a partner and understanding and addressing other people\u2019s concerns or wishes \u2014 and spend time developing their own sense of right and wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf a young person is not in a healthy relationship, they can\u2019t negotiate sex in a meaningful way. Even if they\u2019re not having sex yet, they\u2019re grappling with the idea of what a healthy relationship is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The curriculum she developed invites students to engage in frank discussions about topics like objectification in the media and sexting. If a woman is shamed for being in a sexy video, but she consented to it, does she deserve the criticism? Regardless of what you think, can you justify your position?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow do they want to treat people, what kind of partner do they want to be? That takes discussion,\u201d Lamb says. \u201cIt\u2019s not a skill-training thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea behind the curriculum isn\u2019t that anything goes, so long as students can discuss their reasoning. Instead, the goal is that students develop the critical-reasoning skills to do the right thing in tricky situations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After Randazzo\u2019s students got over their cases of the giggles, the conversations were eye-opening, she says. \u201cYou give them the opportunity unpack their ideas and form their own opinions,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most sexual assault and violence in schools is committed by people who know their victims \u2014 they\u2019re either dating, friends, or classmates. Regardless, they have a relationship of some sort, which is why a focus on relationships and empathy is crucial to reducing violence and preparing students for more meaningful lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And while it might seem uncomfortable to move beyond the cut-and-dried facts of contraception into the murkier waters of relationships, students are hungry for it. A survey by researchers at the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common<\/a> initiative found that 65 percent of young-adult respondents wished they had talked about relationships at school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s so critical that kids are able to undertake this work of learning to love somebody else,\u201d says developmental psychologist Richard Weissbourd<\/a>, the director of Making Caring Common and lead author of a groundbreaking report called The Talk: How Adults Can Promote Young People\u2019s Healthy Relationships and Prevent Misogyny and Sexual Harassment<\/a><\/em>. \u201cThey\u2019re not going to be able to do it unless we get them on the road and are willing to engage in thoughtful conversations.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nicole Daley works with OneLove<\/a>, a nonprofit focused on teen violence prevention. She previously worked extensively with Boston Public Schools on violence prevention. She echoes Lamb and Weissbourd: A focus on relationships is key to keeping students safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf a young person is not in a healthy relationship, they can\u2019t negotiate sex in a meaningful way,\u201d she says. \u201cReally discussing healthy relationships and building that foundation is important. Even if they\u2019re not having sex yet, they\u2019re grappling with the idea of what healthy relationship is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And it\u2019s critical to start that work before college.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shael Norris spent the first two decades of her career focusing on college campuses, but now is focused on younger students with her work through Safe BAE<\/a>. By college, many people\u2019s ideas about how to act when it comes to sex or romance are entrenched, she says. The earlier young people can start interrogating what they know about sex and relationships, the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Safe BAE is led by Norris and young survivors of sexual assault. The organization works to educate students about healthy relationships, sexual violence, students\u2019 rights under Title IX, and other related topics.<\/p>\n\n\n\nIntroducing Ethics Into Sex Ed<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Healthy Relationships \u2014 and Prevention<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Act Now<\/h3>\n\n\n\n