By Grace Tatter
Published on Usable Knowledge by Harvard Graduate School of Education
Nov 28, 2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Giving students a foundation in relationship-building and centering the notion of care for others can enhance wellbeing and pave the way for healthy intimacy in the future, experts say. It can prevent or counter gender stereotyping and bias. And it could minimize instances of sexual harassment and assault in middle and high school \u2014 instances that may range from cyberbullying and stalking to unwanted touching and nonconsensual sex. A recent study<\/a> from Columbia University’s Sexual Health Initative to Foster Transformation (SHIFT) project suggests that comprehensive sex education protects students from sexual assault even after high school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If students become more well-practiced in thinking about caring for one another, they\u2019ll be less likely to commit \u2014 and be less vulnerable to \u2014 sexual violence, according to this new approach to sex ed. And they\u2019ll be better prepared to engage in and support one another in relationships, romantic and otherwise, going forward.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Simply teaching students how to ask for consent isn\u2019t enough, says Lamb, a professor of counseling psychology at UMass Boston, who has been researching the intersection between caring relationships, sex, and education for decades. Students also to have understand why consent is important and think about consent in a variety of contexts. At the heart of that understanding are questions about human morality, how we relate to one another, and what we owe to one another. In other words, ethics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen I looked at what sex ed was doing, it wasn\u2019t only a problem that kids weren\u2019t getting the right facts,\u201d Lamb says. \u201cIt was a problem that they weren\u2019t getting the sex education that would make them treat others in a caring and just way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She became aware that when schools were talking about consent \u2014 if they were at all \u2014 it was in terms of self-protection. The message was: Get consent so you don\u2019t get in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But there\u2019s more at play, Lamb insists. Students should also understand the concept of mutuality \u2014 making decisions with a partner and understanding and addressing other people\u2019s concerns or wishes \u2014 and spend time developing their own sense of right and wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most sexual assault and violence in schools is committed by people who know their victims \u2014 they\u2019re either dating, friends, or classmates. Regardless, they have a relationship of some sort, which is why a focus on relationships and empathy is crucial to reducing violence and preparing students for more meaningful lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And while it might seem uncomfortable to move beyond the cut-and-dried facts of contraception into the murkier waters of relationships, students are hungry for it. A survey by researchers at the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s\u00a0Making Caring Common<\/a>\u00a0initiative found that 65 percent of young-adult respondents wished they had talked about relationships at school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n